I was recently surprised while reading comments written by women who have experienced the loss of a child. Some of the women did not like being referred to as a mother because of a miscarriage or stillbirth. And yet there were others who wanted to be referred to as mother even if the pregnancy ended early on.
This made me ponder about my thoughts on the matter. For me, a mother is more than DNA. In my opinion, it is possible to be a mother to someone and never physically give birth or be connected to the child via DNA. A mother is someone who takes on the responsibility of a child by providing basic needs, love, protection, direction, nurturance, and discipline.
So, when does this start? And does it ever end? I believe that a woman becomes a mother at conception. I also believe that a woman becomes a mother when she chooses to take on the role and responsibilities previously mentioned. In the unfortunate event of the child dying whether at 4 weeks of pregnancy or 44 years of life, that woman is still a mother. The absence of the child in the physical world does not negate motherhood. Once a mother always a mother.
Many people do not see it this way. Many people identify motherhood with a living child that can be seen, heard, held, and smelled. There are numerous mothers and fathers who have experienced the loss of a child. They are often unknown because no one knew about the pregnancy and loss. They are often forgotten because many people do not know what to say or do when a child dies. So many do nothing.
Some of these parents wrestle with identifying as a parent when there is no living child to take care of and watch grow and develop. Some are adamant not to be called Mama. And then there are others who are just the opposite. These women desire acknowledgment despite the physical loss of their child.
What do you think? Is a woman a mother if she has not experienced a live birth? Please join the conversation by responding to the poll and leaving a comment.
Is a woman a mother if she has not experienced a live birth?
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Journey to Joy Gathering
Women who experience infertility, miscarriage, and/or stillbirth are often forgotten especially on Mother's Day. It is our desire to remember not only these women, but also provide space for them to hope and heal. Join us on Saturday, May 4, 2024 from 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM as we gather on this Journey to Joy. Please share this FREE event with other women on the journey.
For more information or to connect with Tacole, please visit her website at www.tacolerobinson.com.
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